Boekverslag : Doris Lessing - The Good Terrorist
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The Good Terrorist




Thatcher. +/- 1979.


  • Andrew: The foreign comrad from nextdoor. Trained in the SU. ½ Irish ½ SU.
  • Bert: Jasper considers him his big brother.
  • Bob Hood: The male council.
  • Caroline: Moved from #45 to #45. Middle class girl who has seen the light. Short, plump in her early twenties, dark not unattractive, smiling a lot. Liberal idealism, not following Andrews ideas. Lost her love because he joined the Labour Party. Alice likes her a lot.
  • CCU: Communist Centre Union. Neither left deviants nor revionists. Started by Alice, Jasper and a few others. Thirty members in London.
  • Faye: The 'evil' one of the 2. Had a bad childhood. Dominated everything in the house until Alice and Jasper came. Battered baby. Faye & Roberta: couple
  • Felicity: She let Philipe stay at her house for two years. Gordon O'Leary: Irish/American family.
  • IRA: Irish Republican Army
  • Jasper: Very short hair, pinkish freckled skin, little blue eyes (angelic look according to Alice), very thin, skin tight clothes, no student, graduated poorly. His father went bankrupt so Jasper had to finish his grammar school on a scholarship: seen as charity.
  • Jim: The drumboy, black, 22, unemployed. First inhabitor of the squad
  • Joan Robbins: Woman next door.
  • Jocelin: Caroline's friend. Bomb maker.
  • Mary Williams: Girl at the Council. She is with Reggie. Greenpeace activists.
  • Mellings, Alice: 36, short hair, pinkish freckled skin. Manipulated/controlled by Jasper. She's got an adequate degree, but she didn't try to get a job with it. Alice was a good girl, a good daughter, she always did groceries and cooked. Late reader, never reads any books, except newspapers. She wants to fix everyone's problem. She knows what goes on in people's minds. Sex makes people unbalanced.
  • Mellings, Cedric: Alice's dad. Labour Party. Built up his own company from the ground.
  • Mellings, Dorothy: Alice's mom
  • Mellings, Humphrey: Alice's brother: married & has a baby
  • Monica: 20 year old girl stuck with her baby and husband in a filthy hotel.
  • Muriel: #45 inhabitor, Andrew's flirt.
  • Pat: Alice considers her her ally. Pat & Bert: couple. Alice thinks Pat wouldn't be with Bert any longer if it weren't for the sex.
  • Philipe: Plumber, thin built. Used to be with Felicity.
  • Roberta: The good one, always trying to comfort Faye and calm her down.
  • Theresa: Alice's aunt & friend. Married to Anthony.
  • Zoe: One of Alice's aunties. She had several rows with her mom.


They are arriving at a CCU squat. Half of their members left because the others wanted to join the IRA.

Alice and Jasper met in a squat where Alice was the house wife, she made the squat into a legal student house. She looks after him, and he complains people exploit her. Jim found the house and stayed there and now the others are telling him he can't stay because he is not with the CCU. Alice left home after a fight with her mom. She calls her mom because she needs her to guarantee for the electricity and gas for the house. Her mom hangs up. She calls again. She tells Alice her (ex) husband won't pay the bills anymore and that she doesn't want to see her no more. Alice calls her dad, she gets a no.

She goes to her friend Theresa's house, who is at work, the maid lets her in, she calls Theresa at work getting her out of a conference. Her friend says no because she dislikes Jasper. She calls her friend a rich shit. She eats some leftovers from the fridge and leaves. She goes to the Council but she's told the building is scheduled for demolition. Mary says they will take it into consideration. She writes a note to the cops about it so they won't have to leave in 4 days. When she comes home the woman next door has rung the council because she is disgusted by the house. Faye makes clear she doesn't want to pay for electricity. Jasper spent Alice's Social Security money. Alice goes to Theresa for ?50. Pat gets her friend who plumbs etc for a living. Theresa isn't home, Anthony is, he lies that he can't give her ?50. Theresa comes home and she looks worn out, gives Alice ?50.

Philippe looks to ill to do the jobs around the house. Alice and Jasper sleep on opposite sides of the room. Alice cannot sleep because of the sex noises from Pat and Bert. She moves to Jasper's side, he tells her "You are in my space". Alice has breakfast at Fred's cafe. She goes to her mom's house and steals the rug. She sells it for ?30 and she buys Jasper food. She makes an agreement with the pick who pick up the trash that they will take the trash out of the garden next time for ?15, if she puts it in plastic bags herself. The house next to theirs is also rotting away. Alice, Pat and Jim clean the garden. Philippe wants to move in after the work's done. Alice goes to the electricity office, they need a guarantor. Alice gives her father's name and a ?10 deposit, which is of course too little. They dig a hole for the pails of shit, they find tons of bottles. The police comes to ask about the shit. Faye and Roberta come home. They say Alice can't decide alone wether Jim and Philippe can stay. When Alice wakes up they are all gone to the picket. Alice goes to her father. His wife Jane is playing in the garden with the children. She goes to their bedroom and steals ?300 from her father's pocket. Bert and Jasper have been nextdoors (#45) because they received a note. Coffee and croissants at breakfast. Pat and Alice fix the roof. Pat finds a birdnest, and just gives it a firm kick, Alice feels betrayed. Bob comes to check the house. Jasper and Bert come home with some furniture. Mary drops by. Mary asks if she and Reggie could move in because Reggie lost his job and they want to say somewhere cheap so they can save up some money. House meeting about the fact if they can move in because Mary is with the Council (keep her as a friend and they'll get the house) but she is no CCU. When Alice meets Reggie she feels they don't belong in the house. They accept Mary and Reggie who offer some furniture. Jasper tells Alice that Bert and Pat are going away for the weekend. When Jasper wakes up Alice is awake as well, but she keeps still. Jasper wakes everyone else up and they go to the picket (except Alice and Philippe). She feels left out. Since they haven't had breakfast in the kitchen she figures they had breakfast at a cafe, wasting money. Jasper left her a little note and her SS money. She's filled with love. Faye and Roberta stayed at home as well. Faye, Roberta and Alice discuss Mary and Reggie. Roberta makes a remark about Faye's (bad) childhood. Alice considers emotional problems to get in the way with everything. Alice and Jasper sorted this out 'well'. Alice asks Faye and Roberta about contributing to the expenses. Faye only wants to pay for food. Roberta will pay for food and the other expenses, furniture, gas etc. Alice goes outside and is being called by the old lady mrs. Jackson. Alice goes back into the house. Philippe says he is ill, Alice thinks he just needs some attention. He complains about his jobs and the ones he never gets. Reggie comes in and tells the good news about the house. Alice goes nuts, cries, laughs, etc. Philippe is no longer sick and goes back to work. They can have the house for a year. Every person in the house has to pay a small sum of money. Alice would have rather had a lump sum. She is very disappointed because she knows that Jim, Faye, Roberta, Jasper (meaning she has to leave as well) would leave. Mary says she will have Bob change it. Mary mentions the #45 complaints. Alice says she'll go there (she is curious about what's going on in that house). A tall, broad Russian opens the door and Alice tells him they should do they same thing as they did to get the police off their backs. Comrad Andrew makes her read a Times article about the not-wanted people at the strike (Jasper, Pat, Bert CCU etc). She yells the magazine is a capitalistic magazine and she goes home. There's a girl (20) at their door with a baby. She wants (demands) a room. She, her baby and her husband have been living in a filthy hotel for 7 months. Faye comes down and throws the girl out. Faye leaves, Roberta comes down. Alice tells Roberta she's noticed the scars on Faye's wrists. They drink whiskey. Philippe comes in and says he is sick (he is not, but he thinks Alice should help him and not waste her time). Alice receives a letter from the Electricity Board, her father's reply about garuanteeing payment was negative. She asks Philippe to guarantee, but he can't. Alice will tell the EB her brother will guarantee, but that he's not here right now, on a business trip to Bahrain. Alice wakes up from the others coming home. Jasper is not with them: he has been arrested. Jasper told Alice not to come over. Jasper met some useful people who can help them join the IRA. Pat makes a remark that would mean #43 (they) had come unwittingly close to great events. Alice goes out, walks by her father's house, too early, Theresa's house, father's house, she throws a rock through her father;s bedroom window, she goes to the supermarket, she goes to the police station to report their agreed squat. She goes over to #45 (they burried an 'emergency'), he tells her not to tell anyone about it and he tells her he trusts her. Alice goes back home and finds Monica wanting to throw a rock at their house. She has come to Alice to ask her if she can do anything for her, in the middle of the night. Jasper is not in the house, he's still in jail. The next morning there is a note from Pat and Bert: they have gone away for the weekend. Alice calls the EB. She has to go down there because they want a guarantor and more deposit. When she comes home there is electricity! She wonders where Jasper is staying because tonight is their spraypaint night. Jasper comes home. He spent his time in jail with Jack (alias). Jasper wants money to go to Ireland with Jack and Bert. He already spent all his SS money. He is angry at Alice for spending money at the house. He tells her to get some more money from mommy and daddy. He says he can't go out spraypainting because he is afraid he'll get caught and he cannot use any attention right now. Alice knows this is just a lie, because she can't give him money, since they have never been caught. They have an argument at night, Alice agrees to pay for Jack's (!!) fare to Ireland. (Jasper has been saving up money for years, "So I can get rid off you forever). Next morning: it has been 6 days since she and Jasper left her mother's home. Alice and Philippe clean up the attick, she finds three evening dresses. She goes out to sell them, she gets ?250 for them. She is not going to tell Jasper about the money. She tells Philippe she got ?150 for the dresses, and gives him ?100 for his work around the house. They spent ?65 on a second hand boiler. Jim is still not home. Alice goes back to the attick to look for more valuable stuff. Nothing, she is in complete rage. Reggie and Marry come up to her and ask what is wrong. Alice hysterically laughs at them. She goes to bed at 3 and gets up at 7. She cleans the room so that she can paint it that day. She goes downstairs, drinks some coffee, and thinks about how things would be without Jasper (leaving him). She paints their room. Alice goes to the girls' room, Faye doesn't want their room painted. Alice concludes they like filth. While everyone else is sleeping she paints another room. She goes to #45 and a girl named Muriel opens the door. She wakes up comrad Andrew for Alice. He has been to France. He wants Alice to get a computer job and live in a flat and wait. She says she doesn't want to live in luxury like "them". They talk about the people in the house, and Alice says she wants more people in the house, Andrew says that's a good idea; the more the better. They talk about Brittain: it's rotten, ready for the bulldozers of history. When she has to go he asks her about Jasper. Why she has been with him for the past 15 years. She goes home and goes to Jim's room, he got into a fight and has a bad wound. He went out to look for a job, but he is black and he only knows the printing techniques. Alice's father is a printer and she writes him to give Jim a job. Jim tells Alice he thinks she is a sincere person, unlike the others. The police comes to look for Jim and Alice lies he's not there. The rest comes home. They want to discuss the IRA matter, for which they need privacy. Bert and Jasper leave for Ireland. Alice and Pat spent a nice few days together, painting, helping Philippe. Alice works out the finances with Mary and Reggie, gas and electricity and stuff. But Alice paid for all the other things herself. Jim got a job from her father, he is incredibly happy so Alice doesn't tell him what an asshole her father is. She takes him out for diner and Pat and Philippe join. Jim goes to his first day of work. Pat goes over to 'a friend'. Alice knows Pat won't be here anymore when Bert comes back. She gives Monica a note and sends her to her mom's house saying she can stay there and her mom will take care of her.

Alice laughs at her mother for liking to look after people, while she is exactly the same. They have a meal together: one big happy family. Next morning Monica is back and she is kicking and screaming. Her mom sold the house. Alice goes to her mom's house and in anger she takes all the curtains and goes home. Philippe announces he is going to advertise his own company. He can't no longer work for free. She is thinking about how she can obtain more money. She can rob her father's office. She goes to her dad's office where his secretary is counting the money. The phone rings, she goes out, Alice slips money in her jacket ?1000. She finds Pat in the kitchen, she's leaving. It has been 10 days since Jasper and Bert went to Ireland. She doesn't have any political confidence in Bert (& Jasper) anymore. Bert and Jasper come back, Alice knows they have failed. Alice thinks of opening a new post office account and not telling Jasper about it. Jasper will not be satisfied with handing out leaflets for the IRA. Alice knows that Jasper knows she has money. Alice threatens to leave if Jasper won't help Philippe with the boiler. Jasper asks Alice about the money when Jim comes in: he has been given the sack because they think he has stolen the money. Alice goes over to her father (Jasper takes the money that was on her middleriff). They didn't even think of Alice taking the money. Alice shouts if they are stupid or something since she was there that night. Cedric suddenly realises she stole the money from his pocket as well, and that she was the one that threw the rock. She asks her mom's new address. He won't give it to her. She asks the administration lady. When she comes home Jim is gone, Alice is hurt. Roberta gives her whiskey and makes her go to sleep.

Alice suggests organising a CCU Congress. Reggie and Mary think it's a good idea. Jasper is gone for five days. Bert asks where he is, Alice covers him up and says he's gone to visit his brother. Bert says Jasper has never mentioned a brother. They prepare the congress. Andrew wants Bert for his plan now. Alice thinks Andrew drinks too much. Caroline and Jocelin do not attend the CCU congress, but they do attend the party Saturday night. Jasper comes home that night: he looks ill. Monday: Philipe got a serious reply on his advertising. He needs Alice's help because people will turn him down the moment they see him. It's a job at a take-away restaurant. The first people to arrive are 2 women belonging to the Women's movement, they say they will organise a creche, so mothers can come as well, but they will only look after female kids. Alice writes letters saying children can't come. Alice wants to make soup, but she will need an extra large pan. She goes to her mother's house, forgot she moved, angry. Goes to her new house, it's a horrible place. She has tea with a lady that lives there. Small flats, so she's sure her mother didn't bring the extra large pan with her. She buys a new one, and while holding it she looks back at a part of her childhood: Anne was her best friend then. She always had to stay over there when her mother was throwing another party. Or she slept on a matress in her parent's bedroom. Alice isn't close to her brother because he left home when he was 12. Alice feels she has lost her real home by her mother selling her childhood house. They decorate the room with CCU, Lenin, Greenpeace, IRA posters. There are over 50 people present. It's the first National Congress of the Communist Centre Union. Bert welcomes everyone after which Jasper does the opening speech (Pat was supposed to do it). He is a very serious speaker, after the speech everyone is moved. Pat comes in: she looks terrible. She does her speech afterwords, a humorous, informative one. The next day Jasper announces that he and Bert are going to the Soviet Union. Alice says she can't give him money: he has already taken every penny she owes and she says Bert won't go anyway if Pat will come back to him. Alice goes to Andrew, she lies next to him. Andrew know Bert and Jasper are going to Moscow. He touches her and tells her to seperate her from the rest. After minutes of silence he tells her to take a holiday, she starts crying. He says she must leave before Jasper and Bert come back. A few happy days for Alice, Jasper and Bert take her everywhere with them: cinema, National Theatre etc. No spraypainting that night but demonstrating. Jasper says they'll go to Millchester (what Alice wanted, probably to please her) and he will pay for the traintickets. She is filled with love and looks at him, he turns his eyes away. Reggie and Mary go to a Greenpeace demo. Faye and Roberta go to a demo against a genetic professor. At the demo the police arrests everyone, Alice, Jasper and Bert run away after provoking. Jasper and Bert leave and tell her they'll be back in 10 days. Bert and Jasper give each other looks, they won't be back in 10 days. Alice writes Pat to come over. Bert and Jasper want to be trained to be spies in Moscow. Pat comes, they go to Harrods and have tea etc. When Pat leaves Alice asks her when she'll see her again. Pat says never. The next day Alice talks to Mrs Robbins and gets a package from Jocelin sent by Andrew, ? 500. Alice goes over to #45, Muriel is leaving, she's going to get trained in the SU as well. Andrew is gone: off for training as well. Alice realises Pat is going as well. She feels betrayed by Jasper because she know he will be gone for months. She goes to the postoffice, home, her mom's flat, home. Alice is going to leave within 10 days. Roberta comes in at night: she is going away because her mother is in hospital, dying of cancer. She is begging Alice to keep an eye on Faye. Alice notices she acts normal around other people, Roberta lets her act crazy. Caroline asks if she and Jocelin may move in (the police came again). They talk about the SU, Muriel and Andrew. Caroline mentions the police dug up the pit. Two police men at the door: they are going to dig up their pit as well. She hears Faye weeping in the middle of the night, she goes into her room and holds her hands. Faye tries very hard to be nice towards everyone. Caroline and Jocelin don't understand why people dislike Faye. Reggie and Marie and Caroline and Jocelin go away for the weekend. Caroline asks her to come along, she says she has to look after Faye. At night when Alice goes to bed she thinks it suspiciously quiet in Faye's room because she is always weeping or making some kind of noise. She goes in, Faye slit her wrists. She screams out loud and Philipe comes in. He wants to call an ambulance but Alice tells him not to because of the police and Roberta. Alice gives her a mixture of warm water, salt and sugar. She goes to Joan Robbins because she has to make a phonecall. She calls the Samaritans. Alice leaves Joan not telling that Faye tried to commit suicide. Alice leaves a trace of blood on the phone, but Joan decides not to call the police. Roberta comes home, her mother is in a coma. When she wakes up she is determined to leave. Philipe is not getting paid his second ½ if he won't finish the job within a few days. Philipe wants help from Reggie because he hasn't got a job, but he can't paint well enough. Alice can, she painted most of the house very well. Alice feels trapped in the house. She says she will help (she feels guilty because he got paid very little for the jobs around the house). Alice meets the Greek and she knows Philipe won't get his money no matter what he does. He gives them 2 days. When she goes home Jasper and Bert are back. She sees Jasper, filled with love, she won't keep her promise this time. They have some kind of look in their eyes. Jasper is in rage. The Greek says he isn't satisfied with the job and only gets paid 2/3. Next day Philipe asks her to be her help for a new job, she says no, he is angry. Alice shows her dislike towards Bert and Jasper's new attitude. Felicity at the door: Philipe is in hospital. Alice gets his stuff and goes there. His condition is horrible, broken bones, fractured skull, inserted tubes. While she's looking at him she realises he is dying. Alice sleeps through two events that evening:

The police, something about a stolen car. Mary and Reggie Settle things. Felicity telling that Philipe is dead. Reggie and Marie have found a flat. The two houses are on schedule again, they say they will have plenty of time to find asomething else. They have a meeting without Reggie and Mary about formulating a new policy. 345 is an exchange point for propaganda and tricky stuff. Jocelin moved to #43 because she is interested in the IRA as well. Jasper and Bert say the IRA wasn't interested in them. Jocelin says who the fuck do the IRA think they are, they cannot tell us what to do in our own country. Felicity comes, she wants Alice to take care of the formalities. Roberta comes along. Next morning Alice sorts out Philipe's possessions with an official. She doesn't mention his tools, so they will have their own tools. Jocelin studies on books about making explosives. Jocelin shows her handmade devices. They seem futile to Alice. Alice weeps over Philipe. Jasper and Bert go to a demonstration and Roberta takes Faye to the seaside, it will do her good. Caroline comes in with groceries and starts cooking. Until then only Alice had cooked. Two Irish men leaving packages: Alice tells them to take it away, they won't. Jocelin tells them to take it up the attick. Bert is attrackted to Caroline. Alice goes up to Jocelin, they talk about what they should blow up to test the explosives. Alice takes Jocelin to cement stanchions. Alice can hardly sleep because of her excitement. Alice goes to Felicity and tells her she wants to borrow her car. When she goes back she finds a man in suit at the front door. He has an American accent and he is looking for her. He asks her if she has received materiel and she says no arrangements have been made to bring that stuff here. He says a large number of Americans want to help the Irish against the English oppression. He says his name is Gordon O'Leary and he descends from an Irish/American family. Alice says he is a Russian just like Andrew and that they cannot accept more stuff. Gordon says she will have to because she accepted money from Andrew. Alice gets angry and speaks about a culture clash here, the Russians are used to oppression but the English to democracy, so he can't tell her what to do and not to do. Alice looks at him and feels she has done something terribly wrong. He says he will pick up the packages tomorrow, Alice says she won't be home, and that she put the packages somewhere else (lie). He says she shouldn't play games. When he leaves Alice throws up. Jocelin comes in and suggests some coffee and sleep. They go up to Jocelin's room. While Jocelin works on the explosives Alice tells her about Gordon. Jocelin asks Bert to come along. Reggie and Mary are off for the weekend. At night they place the bomb at their "test spot". Next morning they go and look, Jocelin isn't satisfied because her calculations weren't correct. They get the stuff from the attick. Jocelin is anxious to see whats in there. They find parts of guns. They are shocked. Jasper puts the parts together. Jocelin takes them apart and removes the fingerprints. Jocelin has got to go to work and tells them to get rid off it. They dump the stuff at a metal dumpsite. There is a feeling of anti-climax, they start drinking. There is nothing in the newspaper about their bomb except a little article in the local newspaper saying they suspect it was done by hooligans. Jocelin thinks 'we will show them'. The article also says there was an old woman with minor injuries, Alice 'poor thing'. Two policemen who throw in a filled bag with shit (out of the hole). Faye leaves the explosion manual on the table. Reggie and Mary find it, they decide to leave immediately. They wake up Alice to tell her what happened. Bert suggests leaving Faye out of things. Alice is tired, wants to go out for a walk, but Jasper 'calls' her back. Jocelin goes upstairs to get Roberta and Faye. They discuss what they will blow up, it turns into a comedy. In the end they make a decision. Faye wants to put the explosives and Jasper and Jocelin will come along. Alice goes for a walk, she goes to her mother's appartement. She lets Alice in. Her mom has a lot of clothes on, no heating on. Hardly any food in the fridge. Whiskey bottle, nearly empty. She notices that someone has recently been sitting in the second chair. She asks if her friend Zoe came to visit her (they have an argument), no, Mrs Wood (the woman Alice drank tea with). Dorothy says she would be still living in the house if she hadn't taken Alice and Jasper in. She spent all her money on them. She had already arranged the sale of the house, but Alice and Jasper wouldn't leave. Cedric called Jasper to tell him to get out elsewise he would call the police. A German couple wanted the house, with everything in it, but some fool (Alice) stole the curtains so the deal was off. She eventually sold the house for 2000 less. Dorothy asks if she's still with Jasper. She asks why Alice doesn't get a job. She wants a better life for her daughter. She is disappointed in Alice because she is leaving the same life as her: cooking and looking after other people. Alice leaves in anger. She thinks her mother could move in, the thought dies a natural death. Jocelin and Alice bury the explosive devices in case the police comes. Jocelin tells Alice the two Irish men came back. They will be back again and have Alice tell them where the stuff is. Philipe's sister is found, so there will be a funeral on the day they planned their bomb attack. Reggie and Mary come home, announce they will move out Wednesday. On Tuesday they go to the crime scene to check things out. On Wednesday everyone helps Reggie and Mary move out (because they want them gone, so they can prepare for the bomb attack). Alice leaves early to go to Philipe's funeral. Alice feels left out because all the decisions are taken behind her back. Caroline moved out because she doesn't want to have anything to do with their criminal acts. They all go to the crime scene, it will take Jocelin 5 minutes to get the bomb ready. Faye and Jasper will drive the car to the hotel (target). The bomb will go off at 4.45. There's a knock at the door. A man named Peter Cecil is looking for Alice, he wants information on Andrew. They make an appointment for the next day. They go on their way. Alice thinks about the people might getting killed. They all take their places. Suddenly Alice runs into the hotel and calls the Samaritans. She says there will be an explosion at the hotel and makes pro-IRA comments before she hangs up. Bert looks like a dead corpse. Alice changes her mind about their action. The car arrives, there is no parking space in front of the hotel. They haven't talked about what to do if there was no parking space. Just when Faye turns into a side street two cars leave their lots. Faye and Jasper come back and Bert signs them. Faye parks the car. Jasper gets out, Faye doesn't. Explosion. Roberta and Alice run to the spot. Alice finds Jasper on the other side of the street covered in blood. The ambulance people ask if they are hurt. Faye is dead. Alice walks Roberta away, a policeman asks if they are alright. Alice says Roberta is in shock, she's taking into hospital. They take a cab home. Jasper lies Faye couldn't get out of the car because Faye bumped into the sidewalk and couldn't breathe (Faye committed suicide?). There's an article in the paper saying the IRA claimed the attack (Alice's phone call). Jocelin says Gordon came to see Alice. Jasper and Bert are leaving. Jasper asks if Alice is coming along, she says she will stay a little while and look after Roberta. Jocelin leaves too. In the morning Roberta says she is leaving as well, going to her mom who is still in a coma. She leaves Alice various addresses. The IRA states they didn't commit the attack. Alice is alone in the betrayed house. Alice had gone along with the bombing while feeling it wasn't right. She is thinking about lunch with Peter Cecil and what to tell him about Andrew Connors. After that meeting Gordon O'Leary. When she comes back she will lock the doors and windows and go up into the attick and put a weight on it. Plans for commiting suicide?
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